Me: (Watching Wimbledon 2008 on TiVo)

Him: Whoa! Did you see that?

Me: What? You mean where the one guy hit the ball, and then the other guy hit the ball, and the guy didn't hit the ball? Yeah. I saw that. Woohoo.

Him: (Sigh) Can I get you something from the kitchen?

Me: A large spoon to gouge out my eyeball?

Him: Ha ha! How about a coke?

Me: How about Draino?

What would you do with a boy who, on the first date, called you "lovely" and presented you with these?

It's shocking how much time I spent this morning trying to look like I just threw this on! ... Tomorrow it's my plan to roll out of bed, and then spend an hour trying to make my hair look like I just rolled out of bed.

Me: Damn it... They moved the Salon of Shame to the I-district! ... I can't just walk home drunk tonight.

Me: I'm going to be the "drunk girl" on the bus now!

Me: But I am NOT peeing on myself just to fit in.

Twelve: Heheheh, you KNOW you will if everyone's doing it ;)

Me: Well... OK. I don't want to be all uppity.

I've gone 36 years without anyone ever requesting that I shake, don't break it, because it took my mama 9 months to make it.

FINALLY! The drought is over!

PS. If you would like to end your drought, walk around outside my apartment building and gimme a holler. I'll put an end to that.

Who's bright idea was it to bring me out to some cabin in the middle of the Puget Sound, where I have to make my own fire?!? Now, I'm going to die! Oh yeah, it was my idea, because I had to get away from the "noise" and the "everything smelling like pee" thing.

Well, guess what!? Birds make noise! All day long, it's just CHIRP, CHIRP, CHIRP! And I'm sure the horses in the backyard pee all over.

Poor me. On holiday, in my little cabin on Vashon Island, with the fireplace, and the hot tub, and the boy coming over to cook (and hopefully light fires).